Remember me . . . .

This last month has been a busy one, as usual. Besides the busyness of spring break, school, work, kids, family, youth conference, facebook, car repairs, cooking dinner, and laundry, we have known 4 people who have passed away this last month.

Two of my hubby's aunts, who were sisters, died just a week apart. They both were favorite aunts and will be greatly missed. We were not able to attend their funerals because of distance.

And then soon after, two men in our ward (church congregation) passed away on the same day. One was older and his passing was expected and the other was an unexpected heart attack. My heart goes out to both of their families. Although they are celebrating the lives their fathers/spouses lived, they are also greatly mourning their passing.

My hubby, as bishop of our ward, conducted both funerals which were held on the same day. What a day that was. I wonder how many people who attend weddings or funerals really think about the pressure the person in charge has. Of course, my hubby handled both events beautifully, but what an insight to be behind the scenes and to feel his burden.

What has really been on my mind through all of this is the question--How will I be remembered? Both of the men who passed had not much say in what memories and eulogies would be portrayed. Although the one death was expected and the funeral may have been written out somewhat before he died, the people giving the talks can basically say what they want to. The memories are theirs. The family and friends they left behind give their perspectives of the one who has passed. The one who has passed has no more say about it.

I'm somewhat of a control freak. I've thought about writing my own funeral, obituary, talks, who sings and what they sing, etc. After pondering on that for a while I have realized that that is a bit over the top. What I need to focus on is living my life in such a way that those around me will be touched by the good things I do and remember that. That's actually kind of a bit controlling, too, although more subtle, and maybe good.

I think that when someone passes, those that are left behind are blessed with good remembrances. Our thoughts are focused on the good things that person did during their life. My father, who died over 30 years ago, was a saint. There's nothing he did wrong, no tainted memories. Even the stories about when he was a boy and would get into trouble and need a spanking were passed onto us with fondness. (I guess that thoery doesn't always ring true, though. Hitler will not be remembered for anything good and I had a certain step-father who falls into that same category.)

So, back to the question--How will I be remembered? It's up to me. How will I live my life? It's up to me. And after I'm gone, I hope that those whose lives I've touched will remember me with fondness.