Thanks for your love

I was hesitant to post last week.
The last couple of weeks have been hard, with life getting turned upside down.
And surprises, bad surprises springing up.
Who wants to let the world look in that window?
But, it has been very therapeutic to release it and put it out there.
Hearing support from friends and family, feeling of your prayers.
I know that hope is there and pulling together as a family is always a good thing.

I'm sorry I can't post details, it's still too new and personal.
In this instance, time is a friend.
After a while, a smile, a laugh, the sun keeps shining.
I love my family.

The Bruise

Last week when I happened to be showering, as I washed my foot my little toe started really hurting. The pain of that brought a memory really fast--I stubbed my toe on the ironing board as I was going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Wow. It didn't hurt until I touched it and I didn't remember what I did until it hurt. Bruises do that. Sometimes I see a bruise on my leg and wonder how it got there. I push it until it hurts and remember the corner of the table or whatever it was that did it.

I have another bruise that's even deeper.

In the summer of 1977, at 6 am on a Sunday morning, we got a knock on the door. Just my mom (3 mos pregnant) and us 7 kids were home. Dad was on the road, driving back from a quick trip to pick up our broken car in Nevada. Mom answered the door. It was a policeman. There had been a car accident and dad had died. Just like that our world changed.

I was 10 years old at the time and remember thinking that we would have a lot of challenges because of this--probably my whole life long. I turned myself over to God and let Him direct me because I knew, first of all, that He still loved me and second, He owed me. I know that's not the most humble attitude to have, but it was what I thought of as I went through those next ten years. Those teenage years were rough, and many of my prayers were asking for favors 'owed.'

Yes, things have always been hard, but not impossible. As I got to my 30's, I really began to like my life and was glad that things turned out how they had. I liked where I had gotten to even if it was a rough road. I think that's a 30's thing--pretty normal for most people to finally put the past behind them and look toward the future optimistically.

This last week we've had somewhat of a family crisis (extended family). I can't go into details, but I really miss my dad. I wish he were here to give some council and advice. I wish he were here to hug and tell me that everything is going to be OK. I've had that deep bruise poked and prodded a lot this last week and the memories are really tender. I want to cover up that spot so it can't be poked anymore.

Moving on . . .

I missed an entire month of posting. And I don't even feel guilty (ok, maybe a little bit). But anyway, December was a very nice month. We got a little snow here, had a little holiday feasting, felt that warm, nice Christmas spirit, and got to have two weeks with our oldest.

I've decided to give the kids blog names (is there a more current techno term for that? I don't know) and our oldest is hereby christened BlueJay--maybe BJ for short. She has ALWAYS been attracted to anything that glitters--anything sparkly that catches her eye usually ends up in her nest. I don't know what names the other kids will get stuck with--time will tell.

So, BJ was home from university life for 2 weeks. It was wonderful! She got her ankle checked and doesn't need surgery, but has lots of physical therapy to do every day. We were able to fit a few fun family activities into the schedule--movies, Kemah Boardwalk, sleeping in, football games, fireworks. On the way to the airport to send her back up to the cold, we asked if she would just like to quit school and stay home. She didn't really want to. She's loving what she's doing and where she is and all of her friends and classes and learning and progressing. Wow. She used to be such a homebody. It was nice to hear her say it and sad, too. She has definitely flown the coop (nest).

So, now we're into January. A new year, a new decade. I'm still mulling over possible resolutions. I'd like to try a new meal every Thursday this year--(I've got a lot of cookbooks and I've got to get out of a rut). But, not this Thursday. Today, I'm making Sally Pando's crock pot stew because we love it and there's a cold front on its way and that's what I want to eat. (recipe below)

Another thing I want to try is the financial envelope system. I can't see that one lasting past March or April, though, because the system I've adapted for our family works for us. I guess I just want to see if using all cash and sorting it would work better and be more productive or not. Actually, I don't see this one lasting past February. Maybe I should just delete this whole last paragraph. Hhhmmm...

I always want to do better with getting in shape and losing weight -blah blah blah- and reading my scriptures more and getting to the temple more -blah blah blah. Those are just such daily things. Always thinking of and always working on it doesn't seem like a resolution. It seems like a garden that needs tending.

I think a resolution should be new and exciting like parachuting or traveling to China or saving the rainforest (hmm ..I think it's the ice floes now, isn't it?) or saving the ice floes! But, alas, (yes, I threw an alas in there) daily life comes and goes and life gets crazy just trying to keep up with what needs to get done. The other day I mentioned to number 2 daughter (new blog name: sorry, can't think of one) that life is so crazy! She said, "No, mom, life isn't crazy, life is wonderful! We're the ones that make it crazy." My jaw dropped. Since when did a high schooler get so smart? Well, she is my child. So, this year I hope I don't make it crazy. I hope I can let the wonderful come through.

CROCK POT BEEF STEW
Sally Pando

2 lbs. Beef stew meat, cut in 1-inch cubes
¼ c. flour
½ tsp. Salt
½ tsp. Pepper
1 ½ c. beef broth (or 1 can)
1 tsp. Worchestershire sauce
1 -8 oz. Can tomato sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
1 bay leaf
1 tsp. Paprika
4 carrots, sliced
3 potatoes, diced
1 onion, chopped
1 stalk celery, sliced
¼ c. ketchup

Put meat in crock pot. Mix flour, salt and pepper and pour over meat; stir to coat meat with flour. Add remaining ingredients and stir to mix well. Cover, cook on LOW 10-12 hours or HIGH 4-6 hours. Stir stew thoroughly before serving.
Makes 6 servings.