This is the week. I
haven’t had a final exam in years. I’ve
had two online classes this semester and I have one final to worry about. And I’m worried.
I talked to a daughter last night who, in the last two
weeks, has had 11 tests, 2 papers, and 2 projects. She has three finals left this next week and
then has to pack up her apartment, have a mechanic check her car and then drive
2,500 miles home. She has no sympathy
for me.
I talked to another daughter who has 6 finals this next
week. Last week one of her classes
required her to sing a solo in front of an audience. Eesh. I
could never do that. She also has to
pack up her dorm this week and be ready to help drive home. She has no sympathy for me.
Am I looking for sympathy?
Maybe I am. I’m afraid of the
unknown. When I click on that open
button, I have to take the test without stopping. Match quotes to author, choose from all of
the above, write well-formed paragraphs stating my position, prove I am
prepared and that I can do this.
College shouldn’t be scary.
I’ve been going on and off for over 25 years. This should be old hat. But it doesn’t feel like it. This is it.
My anxiety has fully blossomed and my sleep is interrupted by thoughts
of failure. Not big failure, just little
bits that I have no control over. The
computer acting up; the one question that I was sure was right so I didn’t
double check; the notes that I forgot about.
I think I’m looking for sympathy.
